Final divorce decree in hand, he sat at the table and wrote the following ad:
Going Out Of Business Sale!
Harmless pets, but can bite if handled roughly.
Striking colors. Sizes for every preference.
Unlimited uses: Keeps nosy visitors out of your medicine cabinet.
Deters burglars. Quickly sobers excessive party drinkers.
Makes excellent gifts for unfriendly in-laws. Works well in gun safes.
Overnight shipping! No refunds. All sales final.
Recommend caution when opening. Must be 18 or over to place order.
He emailed the advertisement to the local paper then checked the heat lamp of the largest snake terrarium. He smiled as he climbed the stairs to bed.
© 2017 T J Barnum